Wedding Planning Etiquette | Setting Up Your Wedding Party

From weddings on television and movies, it seems like everyone walks around on eggshells with the bride. In reality, it’s the bride and groom who must tread lightly for their guests. There are so many people intimately involved with the wedding and all of their feelings must be taken into account. Is it rude to break certain wedding traditions? How should you go about choosing a wedding party? The answer to these questions and more can help make wedding planning a smoother, happier experience for everyone.

Choosing Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Did you know that the wedding party was originally conceived as a way to protect brides against attacks from bandits? When the world was a less stable place, it was common for bandits to steal brides and their expensive belongings on their wedding night. For this reason, bridesmaids were chosen to dress like the bride in order to cause confusion and protect her. Groomsmen were chosen to come to the groom’s aid in such an unfortunate situation. In the modern world, this is clearly not a huge issue.


During wedding planning, people can get overwhelmed while trying to pick the perfect wedding party. It’s important to note that there is no ‘perfect’ wedding party. It is no longer a faux pas to have more bridesmaids than groomsmen or vice versa. Some couples even have male ‘maids of honor’ and female ‘best men.’  Other couples skip the wedding party altogether. As far as the wedding party goes, choose whoever you want and don’t worry about going over or under the traditional amount of people.

Sending Invitations

The next aspect of wedding planning etiquette is a bit more touchy than choosing a wedding party. When you send out invitations to your wedding, make sure it is at least six to eight weeks before the wedding date. For a destination wedding, send out ‘save-the-dates’ 8 to 12 months in advance, a local wedding should be around 4 months in advance. This allows your guests to clear their schedules and prepare for your wedding. It can really put someone through a loop if they find out they have only a short period of time to prepare.

As far as who should be invited to a wedding, that should be decided on a case by case basis. Some couples choose to invite only intimate friends and family while others invite a wide range of guests. To be safe, it is best to stay consistent. If you are planning a small, intimate ceremony, don’t make any exceptions for that one ‘fun acquaintance,’ as you may offend others. You should also be consistent with +1’s. It can help to make a strict rule about +1’s, like only guests dating for over a year may bring their significant other.

Paying for the Wedding

It’s always a touchy subject when the topic of money comes up. Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for the gown, reception and the bridesmaid’s dresses and the groom’s side pays for church fees, the honeymoon and the bridal bouquet. In a modern situation, it’s probably best for both families to split the bill down the middle. However the payment is arranged, keep fairness in mind.

Seating Arrangements

Traditionally, during a wedding ceremony the family and friends of the bride sat on the left and the groom’s side was on the right. Today, this arrangement could be problematic, especially if there are more guests on one side of the aisle. A good way to avoid this is to let wedding guests choose their seating for the ceremony, minus a few reserved seats for the couple’s parents, grandparents and siblings.


Professional Wedding Planning

If you are having trouble with wedding planning, it’s time to hire an experienced and talented professional to help. Versatile Event Designs has the vast experience to match the theme, style, and budget to the perfect venue for any bride and groom. We only work with the top venues in the business that we personally book for our own events. Aside from our expert wedding planning services, we can also provide entertainment, photographers, and so much more. To create your dream wedding, contact Versatile Event Designs today.

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